Such weights we carry around.
Even the weight of the world.
We women are classic weight carriers.
Since the pandemic our weights have multiplied and grown heavier.
Our own personal weights.
The weights of the collective.
We can feel it in our tense bodies,
our jittery nervous systems,
our minds tied up in knots of angst and worry.
Sisters – It’s time to lay them all down.
You even have permission to.
They were never yours to carry.
They are not all your pains.
Some are, and we must not deny or dismiss that.
Most are pains of others though, of the collective.
And who does that really serve?
I recently became clearly aware of all the weights I had gathered and been carrying around. The heavy load like a backpack full of rocks I’d grown so accustomed to. I hadn’t realized until the moment I laid them down, how heavy they had become. Oh, and then that moment of sweet relief when my back and shoulders were free.
Even with all the tools I have at my disposal, I found myself here. And of course! For I’m only human and living in unprecedented times. Our world is changing at lightning speed. The times were living have never been lived before, so it’s not like there’s a clear roadmap for anyone of us.
I had carved out a day for personal retreat. I was in need of a reset after a very trying month of grief, worry, sickness, fatigue. I had been sitting in deep meditation in a serene Zen garden surrounded by boulders, rocks and stones, as if the goddess Cailleach had both dropped them randomly and purposefully.
My Healing Ritual That Organically Unfolded…
I stood up to stretch and began to walk the periphery of the garden laid out in stones. I was drawn to a particularly larger stone and picked it up and carried it in both my hands. Tears formed as I walked with this rock, feeling it’s weight. I received that this rock symbolized the weight I’d been carrying for a dear friend who recently lost her beloved husband quite suddenly. I cried more, I felt the weight and then I heard, “Her pain is not yours to carry.” I then repeated this mantra, “Her pain is not mine to carry” over and over until I came upon the goddess figure discreetly carved out of tree bark. You have to really look to see her. I felt her beckoning me to lay this stone at her feet. I asked, “Will you take it?” and received a clear “Yes”. Laying the rock then at her feet, I felt something unbind in my shoulders. It was then I came to understand that a healing ritual was unfolding for me. I continued to rock after rock, picking each up, one at a time, naming what weight each represented. They included one for my mother, another for a son, for my husband, for the world and the families whose children were shot. I walked with each rock along the stone path, feeling the weight in my body, releasing the tears, repeating the mantra, and laying them all at Divine Mother’s feet where a pile had formed. Once the ritual felt complete and my body felt cleared and lightened, I bowed in deep gratitude to Mother for guiding me through this healing ritual. Such release and lightness that has carried me through to this day.
What I’m describing here does not mean we don’t feel for others, don’t help them, or hold space for them to feel. It certainly does not mean we disengage. That is the opposite extreme. Rather, we find a balance.
We tend to think that if we’re not worrying about a loved one in pain or if we’re not feeling all that they are feeling, then we don’t care or we’re not helping them. Or we think we can’t feel happy if a loved one is suffering. Even energetically we can easily take on what is not ours, especially if we’re empaths, and that is why we need daily releasing practices.
Abraham Hicks says,“You can’t get sick enough to help the sick become well, and you can’t get poor enough to help the poor become prosperous. And you can’t feel bad enough to help the bad feel good. You’ve got to get on the other end of that. You’ve got to be a vibrational match to the energy that uplifts. And when it flows it uplifts others.”
One of the gifts of NOT taking on other’s pain is PRESENCE…which can lead to DEEPER CONNECTION. Imagine that.
Take a pause to reflect on these questions…
What weights are you carrying?
Which are yours and which are someone else’s to carry as part of his/her journey?
Are you willing to lay them down?
What higher power will you surrender them to?
If you’re ready, I invite you to create your own ritual for embodying this release
- Perhaps take a walk out in nature.
- When you come upon a rock or shell, speak the weight/pain into it.
- Feel it’s weight and sense into your own body.
- Listen to your intuition for how you could release this.
- Do you throw it into a lake, into a wooded area or lay it at the base of a tree? Be creative.
- Trust yourself in the moment to what feels right.
- Feel again your body. Give thanks.
There’s no right or wrong way to create ritual, only your way. Allow whatever is to unfold to unfold. Hold an intention knowing that the ritual is simply a way for you to make the intangible more tangible.
Looking for a space where you can lay down all the weight you’ve been carrying?
What I love about being in Sacred Circle with women is the feeling I receive afterwards of the weights lifted, especially through sharing with others without censor and in performing rituals.
If you’re desiring a sacred supportive space where you can lay your weights down, I’d love to connect. E-mail me at karen@karentasto.com
Karen Tasto creates a sacred space for women to connect to their whole selves as a certified life coach and women’s circle facilitator. Check out more at www.karentasto.com