Part 2 of a 3-Part Series — How to Get Out of Body Shaming and Into Embodied Self-Love
If you missed Part 1, read it here. In this second part I share how my body shame once again reared its head while in supportive community and how I unraveled these final layers to embody self-love.
Look for Part 3 where I give you 13 of my powerful practices for busting out of body shame and into embodied self-love.
This past Spring I landed in Mama Gena’s Womanly Arts Mastery Program and my relationship to my body was shaken, rattled and rolled. My initial purpose in enrolling was so I could better serve the women I work with and deepen my study of women’s empowerment. Little did I know the Pandora’s box that would open on that very first session and the healing and transformation that awaited on the other side. Little did I know that it was body shame that would most get healed. Little did I know I even held so much body shame. My core was utterly shaken.
First, I awakened to the realization that yes, I was still body shaming myself. Then I was shaming myself for having shame. Yikes. I went back to sleep that night after that first day feeling so dreadful, I had to force myself to attend the next day. My inner pot was being stirred and it felt god awful at first.
I remember Mama Gena saying that first day, “We are checking shame at the doors.” She was truly spot on. Each time I went through those doors I felt like some inner knot was undone, some way of thinking or feeling about myself or women in general was unbound, some part of me was healed, unleashed, reclaimed — a circle of ancestors was dancing around me.
While being constantly nudged out of my comfort zones by Mama Gena alongside 900 other women in a container of the most supportive, all-accepting sisterhood I have ever experienced, layer by layer came unpeeled. I began to turn upside down my thinking, my beliefs, and all the ways I had been disapproving of my body as well as other bodies.
One of our exercises later in the program was to praise our own breasts in a group of three and then praise the breasts of the others. Whoa! One of my praises was that these breasts had fed and nourished three healthy babies. Not to mention my narrow hips delivered three babies all naturally with very little to no tearing. Afterwards, my group folded into each other with such relief and elation. How could we have been so disapproving of the miracles that were our divine bodies?
As a result of all the inner work I had already done leading up to this program, the program itself and the most amazing sisterhood, I began treating my relationship to my body the way I would treat any other dear relationship, with the utmost respect, attention, kindness, and adoration.
The more I was with the mix of other women, a wide gamut of sizes, shapes, ages and colors, each and every one absolutely beautiful, the more I could just stop the comparing. We were in this together and we all had our struggles with body shaming in varied degrees.
Body shaming no more. I am liberated, free to be myself. I love my naked body. As I was releasing this shaming, a funny thing happened. I fell in love with my entire being. The self-love I held before all this was conceptual, intellectual, head. Now I am embodied in self-love. This self-love is deeper, unshakeable, passionate, contagious.
I vow to no longer take the locker in the far reaches of the locker rooms or apologize to the mammogram technician for being so small. I unapologetically reveal my body, from head to toe. This is the body I was granted in this lifetime to learn my soul’s lessons. No mistake there. Nothing to improve or fix there. If everything and everyone on this planet is an expression of god/goddess/divine then so am I, and I am perfect and beautiful just the way I am. I am a woman in her feminine power, a goddess!
Now I can go shopping and instead of getting down or pissed off because there is nothing I can fill out, I instead look for clothes that accentuate my best parts and that I feel great in.
True love for self (and anyone for that matter) is an embodiment. Do you remember how your body felt when you first fell in love with another person? You maybe felt tingly all over and bubbly in your tummy whenever you even held thoughts of your new lover.
If I’m really loving myself, I feel it in my body like a warm hug. I’m delighted to catch a reflection of my body in a mirror. I shower myself with praise, regardless if anyone else is. I want to dress well and beautify myself just because it feels good to me. I want to treat her like a queen. Breadcrumbs will not do!
This embodied self-love is not like head self-love. If I’m just in heady self-love, I have to say to myself, “Ok, today I am going to love myself”, and then I must force some action to make it look like I’m loving myself.”
Instead, embodied self-love is embedded in my core. It’s felt in my body. Yes, some days it might seem like more work than other days to give myself acts of love, but isn’t that like all relationships. We have to work at our love relationships to keep them thriving and growing. So it is with our relationship to ourselves.
And maybe someday all stores will even carry size 00.
Stay tuned for Part 3 and learn how you too can bust through your body shame once and for all with doable practices
Please share in the comments below your thoughts about body shaming.
Karen works as a certified empowerment coach, Reiki master/teacher, & sacred circle facilitator. She also teaches workshops and leads retreats. Her powerful spiritually-based coaching will ignite your inner goddess, release your good girl and guide you to living the life you crave.Grab your free guidebook HERE. www.karentasto.com